Monthly Archives: August 2014

Love, Friends, and Everything in Between

Time to Say Good-bye

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good-bye-heartAt some point in time, tadalafil sovaldi all relationships hit a cross-roads: continue the journey or say good-bye.  I was talking with a dear girlfriend recently, and like most conversations with women my age, we started talking about the men in our lives.  She was crying and confided that she thinks her boyfriend does not love her anymore, so she was soliciting my advice and I shall ask you, my dear readers, as well.

Here’s the scenario she presented:

They’ve been together a little over 2 years and recently started having a long distance relationship which started in March.  Everyone knows that long-distance relationships can be difficult.  They require open, honest, communication from both partners.  She considers them having a “good relationship”, but whenever they had a disagreement, somehow, it was always turned that she was to blame and he would give her the silent treatment.  Like many lovers, they would kiss, make-up, and life move on.  They last saw each other in early June and according to her, the reunion was just fine, they seemed like themselves, but after parting, it seemed different: he stopped communicating with her.

hello-goodbyeWhenever they’ve been apart in the past, they would frequently text or call when they could, but this time, it was only HER initiating the conversation.  He only replied to texts and when on the phone, he gave one word responses and made her feel like a nuisance.  If she didn’t text or call for some time, she wouldn’t hear from him.  She tried asking if everything was ok, but he dismissed and ignored her question.  She’s been patient because both their lives have been a little hectic lately, but her woman’s intuition tells her otherwise.  She loves her boyfriend, but feels like she’s had enough of the silent treatment and she knows this will be twisted as her wrong-doing, when it hasn’t been.

After listening to the pain in my friend’s voice, I simply told her that she should move on.  The continual cycle of silence and blame, without confronting the issue is not healthy and only places her in a vulnerable position.  However, if she decided to stay, I  would continually be there as support and a shoulder to lean on.

Did I give her the appropriate advice?  What to your thoughts?

 

 

Life & You

We Are Not Crazy

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anxiety-and-depressionLast week, discount cialis prostate the world lost its beloved funny-man, viagra canada thumb Robin Williams.  His untimely death brings to light an issue that I hold dear to my heart: societal and personal stigma against depression and anxiety (I’ll reserve talking about other mental illnesses/disorders for future postings). We’ve certainly had moments in our lives of feeling “depressed” or “anxious”.  Sometimes the spring in our step comes back fast, there and other times, that dark cloud seems to hang lower.  We think to ourselves, “I can shake this off.  I can handle my ‘problems'”, but what happens when we can’t?  What do you we do?

Depression and anxiety is a two-fold process:

1) Chemicals in your body, called neurotransmitters, become depleted (serotonin/norepinephrine/dopamine for depression and predominately gaba for anxiety).  This depletion results in the physiologic symptoms (nervousness, sleep changes, weight changes, heart palpitations, etc).

2) Our emotion and mental responses to the situation are dictated by how we’ve internalized previous childhood/adulthood experiences, whether they’re positive or negative.  Sometimes the mental tools we’ve used previously are not conducive to battle the present situation, and that perpetuates the anxiety/depression cycle.

 

Depression-support-groups_364x200Currently, there’s 2 ways of treatment for anxiety and depression: medication and psychological therapy.  These treatments invoke fear in some because “people will think I’m crazy!” and “there’s something wrong with me!”.  I’m here to tell you: “YOU’RE NOT CRAZY! YOU’RE NOT ALONE!”.  The medication helps your body find its natural rhythm again, so you can be back to your old self.  Like any medication, there are side effects, so consult your physician on starting, stopping, or changing.  Therapy has its own benefits as well.  Sometimes we just need an impartial ear to vent to.  Humans are social, expressive beings and this is a great avenue for just that.  These individuals are trained to help you gain insight and direction and their tools can be quite beneficial.

I put this posting in the “Life and You” section because in order to change society’s perception about anxiety and depression, we should start by changing our own.  We should realize that vulnerability is not negative.  That vulnerability makes us who we are as humans; we’re not made to be robots.  Depression and anxiety are natural processes in our daily lives.  It’s their prolonged existence that requires us to gather strength and energy to ask for help.  Don’t be afraid to admit when something is too great for you to handle.  It’s never to late to ask for help.

We are not crazy. We are not alone.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Happy reading. :)

Life & You

Shine Bright Like a Diamond

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Shine bright like a diamond 6We are unpolished diamonds.  We all have a unique color, cialis sales for sale sparkle, tadalafil illness and shine – complete with a little roughness around the edges.  That little roughness is our chance to renew and rejuvenate ourselves to be the best we can be.  For the last few years I’ve seen myself going through this renewal process.  At times it feels so slow, but it’s gradual and steady.  I see those patches of roughness becoming more refined and my own sparkle and shine are coming through.

I found this quote by Johann Von Goethe that I wanted to share:

“We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise we harden.”

This quotation spoke to me recently because it highlights our continual emotional and spiritual evolution as individuals.  We shouldn’t make drastic changes to ourselves at the sake of someone’s convincing.  All we need is fine tuning to the canvas we already have.  This continual exploration allows us to be more open, responsive, and engaged with our surroundings.  I encourage everyone to choose one aspect of themselves to fine tune.  For me (and this may seem silly), I’ve chosen to practice smiling more in public.  I’m not a grumpy-pants sort of person, but I do naturally have a more “serious” look to my face.  Sometimes this initially overshadows my open, welcoming personality.  Without this self-exploration, we become stuck in our ways and definitely become grumpy-pants.

The process should start from within – no one can do it but us.

Let’s all shine bright like a diamond! (thank you Rhianna!)

I would love to hear your thoughts.  Happy reading :)

 

 

 

 

Enrich Your Mind

#WomenAgainstFeminsim…What?!

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womenagainstfeminismI would like to think of myself as “pro-woman”.  I believe that we women bring a unique perspective to this world that should be respected, generic viagra online cultivated, cialis usa and listened to.  Some would say that I’m being a “feminist”, and well, yes I am :) I’ve been reading lately about the “#WomenAgainstFeminism” movement and the only thing that comes to my mind is how the word “feminism” is heavily being distorted.

The feminist movement didn’t just begin in the 1960s-70s with Gloria Steinem and Betty Friedan, it began centuries before.  Starting as far back with Cleopatra, Queen Victoria/ Elizabeth I, the Bronte sisters, Margaret Sanger, Amelia Earhart, Rosalind Franklin, Rosa Parks, and countless others, have shown how women greatly contribute to this world.  The Feminist Movement in America only cemented “women’s issues” into a political and economic platform, and over the years, their demands were accomplished to varying degrees.  As of now, the newer generation of women are equating “feminism” as a negative, which is not what our predecessors had planned.

When I hear the word “feminism”, this is what I think:

Feminism is not:

– “man bashing” (we may get frustrated with them at times, but we do need them ladies)

– “women bashing”

– advocating women as superior to men

– blaming insecurities on “the system”

– denying women a voice/respect

– condemning chivlary from men

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Feminism is:

– supporting each other

– demonstrating that women, yes have beautiful bodies, but also wonderful minds and souls

– encouraging our young girls to go into math and science professions

– not criticizing a woman’s career choice

– acknowledging our own limitations is not necessarily a bad thing

– showing respect for ourselves and our fellow women (we are our own worst critic ladies)

Just like everything in this world, the word “feminism” is constantly evolving.  What it meant years ago, may not hold the same connotation now.  We are fighting different battles than our predecessors, but their victories should not be held in vain.  We as women should not be battling each other for a single “true” definition, but coming together in solidarity to make the movement stronger and all-encompassing.  I am fortunate to live in America, where most of my rights as a woman/individual are covered, but many women and girls still do not have that basic respect and stability.  They are struggling, as we did, to accomplish their goals – let’s help them to have a fighting chance.

I would love to hear your thoughts.  Happy reading :)

 

Love, Friends, and Everything in Between

Too Toxic to Handle

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unhealthy relationshipRelationships are a fickle beast.  Sometimes they’re uplifting and make us feel like we’re on cloud 9, generic viagra cialis and other times, they’re draining and make us want to eat a pint of ice cream. I want to discuss the notion of “toxic/unhealthy relationships”.  This sort of relationship can be applied to all realms – family, friends, and romantic relations – but I want to specifically address romantic relationships.  Unfortunately, many of us are unaware that we’re engaging in these interactions, because after continual exposure, our ability to decipher what’s acceptable or not is greatly impaired.

Now, what characterizes a “toxic/unhealthy relationship”:

1) Non-Communication – Engaging in conversation with your partner is like getting ready for war.  You suppress your opinion out of fear for their reaction/response, or when you do speak up, there’s belittlement and blame and unresolved differences.

2) Disrespect –  This can be manifested in various ways.  Some examples are: completely not acknowledging you for days after an argument, attacking your qualities as an individual, or continually placing one-sided blame.  When couples engage in this sort of “tit-for-that”, mutual respect quickly diminishes.

3) Lack of boundaries – It’s wonderful being a unit with your partner, but sometimes, a little bit of “me” time goes a long way.  I’ve always believed that relationships require a healthy balance of individualism + partnership.  The toxicity arises when your partner questions why you may want some alone time, spend time with your friends without them, or you pre-empt their disapproval and stay behind.

4) Fail to compromise – Compromise is essential to any lasting relationship.  It shows our partner that we respect and listen to them; however, it cannot be one-sided.  In unhealthy relationships, one partner always feels the need/is expected to concede while the other refuses to adapt.
good-bye-heartI understand it’s difficult to realize you’re in an unhealthy relationship; no one wants to feel they’re relationship isn’t supportive and loving.  I say this, not to be cliche, but out of experience.  I’ve been in a toxic/unhealthy relationship and acknowledging it was the best step I could’ve taken.

If you’re currently facing this, my sincere advice would be to outline the pro/cons of the relationship – are your emotional needs met/do you get what you put in? Then when you’re ready, you can either do the following:

– Stay and work on the relationship – Continuing the relationship is admirable.  You don’t want to go down without a fight, right?  I get that – I like to resolve the issues too before making a major relationship change.  If that’s your chosen path, use your voice, set boundaries, have a strong sense of who you are, and take care of yourself. Realize that your partner may not change in this process.  If you feel there’s no progress, then move to Plan B – it’s time to say good-bye.  

– End the relationship – Breaking up is hard to do.  In the short-term there’s pain and sorrow; you’ve given your heart and soul to that person for awhile, but you will be OK.  You’ve taken a huge step towards your emotional survival.  Have faith in yourself.  Use the lessons learned from that experience when searching for your next partner.

We may come out with some battle scars, but there will be someone waiting for us to show the true essence of a relationship.  Always believe in life and love.  May we all find sincere love, happiness, and support with a special someone <3

Happy reading :)

Love, Friends, and Everything in Between

The Student is the Teacher

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kids creativeWhere are the days when we could talk to an imaginary friend without people thinking we’re weird? Where are the days when everyday seems new and interesting? Where are the days where we could laugh and be silly without the fear of embarassment?  These are the wonderful times of childhood, discount cialis click but all is not lost.

I recently watched a lecture by the intelligent, seek articulate, help and inspiring 12 year old, Adora Svitak, who states that children are not just students, but teachers too.  I completely agree with her!  Watching her speak reaffirmed to me of why I want to be a pediatrician. :)

Children come into this world as a blank slate.  Everyday holds something new and intriguing for them to learn.  They have an innate zest for life and a “can do” attitude that is sometimes lost with adults.  I’ve heard some of my colleagues say that children are “annoying, stubborn, and difficult”, but don’t we also see that in adults?  We can learn from children.  We can go back to those times of endless curiosity and creativity and use them to make complex problems seem simple.  Why shouldn’t we listen to children? Yes, they may not have our life experience, but they have theirs.  Their views offer new insight and perspective.  People have asked me, “why would you want to work with children all day?!”, and honestly my dear readers, my reasons are all that I have listed above.  Children represent our future, creativity, happiness, and purity.  We should cherish and nurture them, so they continue being just that…as children.kids creative 2

So…if you have munchkins, teenage-munchkins, or adult-munchkins, give them a call/hug/text/email and express how much you love them.  Tell them “thank you” for their creativity and insight as a child.  Let them know they brought something wonderful and beautiful to this world.  As for me, since I don’t have munchkins yet, I’m going to thank Momma and Daddy G for allowing me to be me, fostering my creativity, listening to my insight, and allowing me to be a crazy little scientist.  :)

Happy reading. :) :) :) :)

 

Watch Adora Svitak here: